Are you good to yourself?

wait… is this newsletter becoming a self-growth reflection? anyway happy new year :)

Every time I visit my hometown Çeşme, especially during the winter seasons, I always love to think about my life. The city itself gives me a sense of belonging - its hometown feelings ı guess;)- leading me to think about the lessons I’ve learned, the moments/experiences I’ve had, the people I’ve encountered, the hobbies I’ve taken up, and the achievements I’ve celebrated and anxieties that I’ve faced along the way. It feels like visiting my inner child, asking, What’s happening there? Is everything going well? Do you need something?

A view from the last day of the year in Cesme, Izmir —my hometown and an absolutely gorgeous place! You definitely need to add this to your travel list.

This year, my visit coincides with the New Year celebration, which adds depth to my thoughts and offers me a fresh perspective. The transition into a new year often brings a flurry of advice and resolutions, but we rarely stop to ask ourselves the essential questions: Have we been kind to ourselves? Have we honoured our limits? Are we living in a way that feels true to us?

¿judgment or empathy?

I especially started thinking about this after a recent conversation between two of my friends. One of them was advising the other, questioning why he wasn’t spending his time more “productively.” Why wasn’t he reading? Why wasn’t he going out into nature or exercising? why wasn’t he making better/different choices? While the intention was well-meaning, the tone felt harshly judgmental to me. This interaction made me realize the importance of empathy over judgment in our relationships.

I couldn't help but interject. I asked, "Are you feeling okay with all of this? If it is yes, just keep going. That is the important part." Because I realized that what appears to be inaction on the surface often reflects an internal conflict. He was in a temporary state, waiting for clarity and for the weight of uncertainty to lift. He already had a lot on his plate; he didn't need an extra load of judgment from others.

In my perspective, judgment in that kind of situation typically reveals more about the one passing it than the one receiving it. When people criticize others, they may unwittingly reflect their own inner difficulties, projecting unresolved conflicts onto those they seek to aid. This projection, sometimes unconsciously, becomes a means of externalizing their insecurities while providing advice. It spreads negativity rather than actual understanding or support.

One idea became clear: Empathy takes effort, but judgment is simple. We often harshly mirror the standards we cannot meet for ourselves by forcing expectations on others. However, the most significant growth occurs when we acknowledge that we are all navigating the same rough seas in our own ways.

When my perspective was dismissed with, “You’re just 25, what could you understand?” I replied simply: "Wisdom lies in recognizing the shared humanity of our struggles. The depth of our experiences and our willingness to learn from them are more important than the number of years we have lived.”

Proper understanding is defined by the depth of our willingness to connect, learn, and accept the complexities of the human experience, not by the years. Growth comes from understanding that each journey is as unique as the person taking it, rather than prescribing how others should live.

Quiet resilience

No one truly knows the depth of the pain we endure. There are moments when we feel like giving up and like we’re losing ourselves completely. Yet, no one witnesses the countless times we gather the pieces of our broken spirits just to keep moving forward. These moments of quiet resilience often go unnoticed but are some of the most profound acts of self-preservation.

So, ask yourself: Are your actions fulfilling your desires? Are you happy with the outcomes? If the answers satisfy you, then perhaps you don’t need external validation or comments as we might face harshly judgmental criticism.

★ new year but same you because you’re already an iconic little legend who slays everyday ★

As we navigate the pressure of becoming a “better version” of ourselves each new year, I want to remind you that self-worth doesn’t come from endless striving or achievement. You don’t have to become a “great version” of yourself overnight. You don’t need resolutions to prove your value. As Elizabeth Gilbert once said, "You just get to be here. You just get to exist."

This isn’t an invitation to complacency but rather a call for gentleness—with yourself and the process. Growth is not a race; it’s a lifelong unfolding. Let the new year be an opportunity not for relentless self-improvement but for adopting who you are right now, with imperfections and all.

In Turkish, Gün Doğumu means "sunrise," and this playlist feels exactly like that to me—a gentle start to the day, a moment of clarity, and a source of light during thoughtful times. Each song holds a special meaning, and its one of my favorite list. I hope it resonates with you as much as it does with me.

Words for the year ahead

I hope you can love yourself a little more. I hope you can let go of the things you no longer need to hold on to. I hope you can give yourself grace. I hope you can keep healing from the things you have been through. I hope you can find joy in the more minor things. I hope you can keep working on yourself. I hope you can celebrate all of your wins. I hope you can keep getting closer to your goals. I hope you can spend more time in places that keep your heart warm. I hope you surround yourself with people that feel like sunshine. I hope you can do more things that make you feel alive. I hope you have the magical year that you deserve.

To the person I was in the past,

Thank you for holding on.

Sometimes, I forget the exact words people said or the things they did, but I’ll never forget how they made me feel. People grow in different directions, and sometimes, no one is to blame. It’s okay to feel angry, sad, or frustrated. It’s okay to sit with those emotions without judgment.

But before judging others, we must first know ourselves—our limits, our paths, and our truths. Everyone’s direction is different, and that’s not just okay; it’s essential. Hug the differences without comparison.

Promise yourself that you’ll never stop trying when things get hard. Promise that you’ll remain faithful to the things you’re passionate about. When passion is welcomed, greatness begins to unfold. Happiness will shine when you live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling to your soul.

The truth we owe ourselves and others ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry, but I’ve had my fill in 2024. This year, I’ve come to understand the importance of asking: Am I being kind/honest to myself first? Because if we cannot extend compassion inward, how can we offer it outward to others?

I’ve learned to value honesty above all else—not just with others but, more importantly, with myself. Carrying lies in our hearts only weighs us down and inevitably impacts how we treat those we love. How can we hurt the people we care about by hiding the truth? Never lie to the eyes that look at you with love. If honesty feels too heavy, it’s better to step away than to stay and deceive. Honesty may be challenging, but it creates the foundation for trust, respect, and meaningful connections.

Dear 2024,

Thank you for revealing the true colours of the people around me and for helping me grow stronger. One important lesson I’ve learned is that not everyone needs to understand me. Not everyone will see things from my perspective or support my dreams, and that’s okay. The only understanding I truly need is my own.

As we are on the first days of the year, let’s ask: Are we kind enough to ourselves? The year ahead is an empty canvas, waiting for us to fill it with moments of connection, kindness, and care. Let’s focus on what truly matters—being present, offering love to ourselves and others, and finding joy in the little things.

Here’s to 2025—a year of kindness, love, sharing, and discovering what’s next with an open honest heart.

Are you truly being good to yourself? Let’s make this the year we say yes.

and finally fu*k the new year resolutions!

beijossssss <33!

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚so what is next? ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙